Monday, April 26, 2010
Lyrics
When we were young mom was never at a loss for a song to sing. Often these songs were packed with silly and fun lyrics. I can't remember most of the lyrics to these songs and I would like have them so I can teach Gabriel. Can you all help me out on the lyrics to songs like Mr. and Mrs. Johnny Quebec and the donuts store one and others like it.
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Oh mr. And mrs. Johnny Quebec how could you be so mean? I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine. Now all the neighbors cats and dogs will never more be seen. They've all ben ground to sausages in Johnny quebecs machine.
One day the darn thing busted. It would not even go. So johnny Quebec climbed aboard to see what made it go. His wife was having nightmares and walking in her sleep. She gbe the crank a heck of a yank and Johnny Quebec was meat.
Chorus
one day a little dutch boy came walking in the store. He bought a pound of sausages and laid them on the floor. Then he began to whistle. He whistled up a tune and all the little sausages went dancing around the room.
Whistle the chorus
sing the chorus
Well I ran around the corner. I was chased by a cop so I ran right into the donut shop and I picked up a donut and I wiped off the grease and I handed the lady a five cent piece.
Well she looked at the nickel and she looked at me and she said, "this nickel is no good you see. There's a hole in the mddle and it goes right through." and I said, "this donut has a hole in it too. Thanks for the donut! By now!"
Well I once had a chicken and it wouldn't lay eggs so I poured hot water up and down its legs. Well the chicken squawked an the chicken begged and the gosh darn chicken laid a hard-boiled egg. Da da da da da. No yolk!
I'm a little nut so brown, lying on the cold cold ground
People come and step on me, that is why I'm cracked, you see
(chorus)
I'm a nut (click click) I'm a nut (click click) I'm a nut, I'm a nut, I'm a nut
Called myself on the telephone just to hear my golden tone
Asked myself about a date, told myself 'bout half past eight!
(chorus)
Took myself to the picture show, sat myself in the very last row
Wrapped my arms around my waist, got so fresh I slapped my face!
(chorus)
We are the red-men tall and straight (repeat)
With our feathers and war-paint (repeat)
(chorus)
Pow-wow (pow-wow) Pow-wow (pow-wow)
We're the men of the old gun, pow pow pow
We are the red-men
Feathers in our head-men
Down among the dead-men up, pow-wow
We don't ride in snow or rain (repeat)
Rather ride 'em choo-choo train (repeat)
(Chorus)
We don't wear 'em buffalo shirts (repeat)
Rather wear 'em mini skirts (repeat)
(Chorus)
We don't eat 'em buffalo bones (repeat)
Rather lick 'em ice cream cones (repeat)
(Chorus)
We don't fight with sticks and stones (repeat)
Bow and arrow break 'em bones (repeat)
(Chorus)
(There might be more verses to this one... those are the ones I remember)
As I was walking down the street
A billboard caught my eye
The advertisements written there
Could make you laugh and cry
The sign was torn and tattered
From the storm the night before
And as I read the words it said
For this is what I saw:
Smoke coca-cola cigarettes,
Chew wrigley-spearmint beer
Learn to play the piano
In your winter's underwear
Simonize your baby
With a Hershey's candy bar
And see the difference drain-o makes
In all the movie stars!
Now doctors say that babies
Shouldn't smoke 'til they are three
And people over 35
Take baths in lipton tea
Now you can make this country
A better place today
Just buy a record of this song
And throw it far away
T-I-D-E
TIDE!
The other day (echo)
I met a bear (echo)
A great big bear (echo)
A-way up there (echo)
(Together repeat the stanza)
He looked at me (echo)
I looked at him (echo)
He sized-up me (echo)
I sized up him (echo)
(Together repeat the stanza)
He said to me (echo)
"Why don't you run? (echo)
I see you aint (echo)
Got any gun" (echo)
(Together repeat the stanza)
And so I ran (echo)
Away from there (echo)
But right behind (echo)
Me was that bear (echo)
(Together repeat the stanza)
In front of me (echo)
There was a tree (echo)
A great big tree (echo)
Oh lucky me (echo)
(Together repeat the stanza)
The nearest branch (echo)
Was ten feet up (echo)
I'd have to jump (echo)
And chance my luck (echo)
(Together repeat the stanza)
And so I jumped (echo)
Into the air (echo)
But I missed that branch (echo)
A-way up there (echo)
(Together repeat the stanza)
Now don't you fret (echo)
Now don't you frown (echo)
I caught that branch (echo)
On my way down! (echo)
(Together repeat the stanza - ritardando on the last line)
The bear went over the mountain (repeat twice)
What do you think he saw?
The other side of the mountain (repeat twice)
What do you think he saw?
A valley in the mountain (repeat twice)
What do you think he saw?
A lake in the valley (repeat twice)
What do you think he saw?
A boat on the lake (repeat twice)
What do you think he saw?
A man on the boat (repeat twice)
What do you think he saw?
Pants on the man (repeat twice)
What do you think he saw?
A pocket in the pants (repeat twice)
What do you think he saw?
A nickel in the pocket (repeat twice)
What do you think he saw?
A buffalo on the nickel (repeat twice)
What do you think he saw?
A hair on the buffalo (repeat twice)
What do you think he saw?
A cootie on the hair (repeat twice)
What do you think he saw?
Glasses on the cootie (repeat twice)
What do you think he saw?
A crack in the glasses (repeat twice)
What do you think he saw?
Water in the crack (repeat twice)
What do you think he saw?
Dirt in the water (repeat twice)
What do you think he saw?
MUD!!!!
The cutest boy, I ever saw.
The shaving cream song.
keep going guys, you're doing great.
The cutest boy (echo)
I ever saw (echo)
Was sippin' ci- (echo)
-der through a straw (echo)
(Repeat stanza together)
I asked him if (echo)
He'd show me how (echo)
To sip some ci- (echo)
-der through a straw (echo)
(Repeat stanza together)
First cheek to cheek (echo)
Then jaw to jaw (echo)
We'd sip some ci- (echo)
-der through a straw (echo)
(Repeat stanza together)
Now 99 kids (echo)
All call me ma (echo)
From sippin' ci- (echo)
-der through a straw (echo)
(Repeat stanza together)
The moral of (echo)
The story is (echo)
Don't sip no ci- (echo)
-der through a straw (echo)
(Repeat stanza together)
DRINK COKE!
I have a sad story to tell you
It may hurt your feelings a bit
Last night when I walked in the bathroom
I stepped in a big pile of
sssshhhhaving cream!
Be nice and clean!
Shave every day and you'll always feel clean!
The baby fell out of the window
You'd think that his head would be split
But good luck was with us that morning
He landed in a big pile of
sssshhhhaving cream!
Be nice and clean!
Shave every day and you'll always feel clean!
My grandmother died last evening
She died of a terrible fit
And just to fulfill her wishes
She was buried in six feet of
sssshhhhaving cream!
Be nice and clean!
Shave every day and you'll always feel clean!
Are we missing any more, mom? Joel? Jase? Jaron?
the missing verse is
and now and then (echo)
the straw would slip (echo)
and we'd sip ci (echo)
der lip to lip (echo)
Don't forget,
Hey Lottie, Lottie, Lottie,
Hey Lottie, Lottie, Oh,
Hey Lottie, Lottie, Lottie,
Hey Lottie, Lottie, oh.
I know a guy whose name is (Joel)
Hey Lottie, Lottie Oh
His head is shaped like a bowl
Hey Lottie, Lottie Oh
The nursery rhyme one were you change the beginning,
ie,
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
and threw it out the window
the window,
the second story window
with a heave and a ho
and a mighty throw
he threw it out the window.
Peter peter pumpkin eater
Had a wife and couldn't keep her
put her in a pumpkin shell and
threw her out the window
the window
the second story window
with a heave and a ho
and a mighty throw
he threw her out the window
etc....
Not a song but...
Ladies and Gentlemen
I come before you to stand behind you
to tell you something I know nothing about.
Next Thursday which is good Friday
we are going to have a Mother and Daughter banquet which concerns men only
Admission is free, you pay at the door, find your seats, and sit on the floor.
Ladies, and Jelly beans, we interrupt this program to bring you the news that George Washington just swam the swammee river with Mr. Bubbles.
One dark night in the middle of the day,
Two dead boys went out to play
Back to back they faced each other
Pulled out their knives and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
ran to rescue the two dead boys
If you don't believe this story is true
Just ask the blind man
He saw it too.
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